Valerie is a 42-year-old, single, Reformed Christian lady who lives in Baltimore. She doesn't remember a time
before she knew and loved Jesus, but she does remember accepting John Calvin into her heart in March of 2000.
Valerie is a member of Christ Reformed Evangelical Church in Annapolis.
Though her career aspiration is to be a housewife, Valerie has not yet found anyone suitable who wishes to hire
her for employment in that field (or, more properly, anyone suitable has not found her), so in the meantime she
earns her daily bread working in communications -- editing, writing, print design and website management.
On July 17, 2007 2:05 PMAnonymouswrote... Submitted for your "at ... whim" deletion: The bus driver should have enjoyed (or not) a glance and, regardless, KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT. Or, after his demonstration of uncivil / insane behavior been fired before finishing his route that day! I have to wonder if this "man" is one of those Muslim immigrants that so many Europeans are increasingly annoyed by for their lack if cultural integration. I think I'll show a little leg on my next public-transportation adventure ... AND I'M A "DUDE"!
The fellow probably didn't handle the situation as well as he could have, but a woman should be respectful enough of herself and kind enough to the men around her not to expose publicly what should be reserved for her private relationship with her own husband. I don't know what race or faith the bus driver was, but he doesn't seem to have been scolding every woman who wasn't wearing a burqa. This girl's outfit was evidently designed to distract, so no one should be surprised that it did.
On July 18, 2007 9:40 AMAnonymouswrote... Another example of the blind acceptance of the judgmental impositions of someone else's collective on individualism. And let's play dress-up with that "burqa"! WHO gets to decide weather it is "modest" garb or "silly"?! Do you sympathise with those occasionally interviewed Middle-Eastern women who refer to it as "liberating" or "comforting"? And more importantly, is it just "swell" with you that it is mostly imposed on these women? Do they deserve liberation or will you lean on Mister Collectivism's crutch ... "it's cultural"!
For the record, I think the mentality behind the burqa is an evil thing that denies the God-designed glory of femininity. I also think that the mentality behind clothing that advertises a woman's sexual availability, whether or not she's sexually available, is an evil that denies the God-designed glory of femininity.
Now, Mr. Anonymous, I've let you get away with incivility twice. If you'd like to discuss this matter further in a courteous, rational tone that indicates a true desire to understand my views, I would be happy to continue, but any more rude rantings (who's being judgmental???) will be summarily deleted.
Meaning: Are YOU part of a "collective" that wishes to impose itself on the individuals outside that group. Do you (and your "peeps") want to dictate "proper" dress (or whatever) to others? The German bus/bust story you highlighted is mearly an example.
I can only assume that by "incivility" you mean "challenge" ??? "Desire to understand (your) views"? Are those the ONLY ones you have ANY respect for? Is "rude rantings" simply code for "how dare you not agree with me!"
BTW, it's a hot day and I wish I could wear shorts ... but that would expose my knees!
I shall not bother you again. Best wishes.
On July 18, 2007 5:52 PMpentamomwrote... I believe incivility comes in when you approach a lady you apparently know very little of with the assumption that she is in favor of highly restrictive and dictatorial policies in favor of Islamic cultural values, and then proceed to bludgeon her rhetorically on that assumption.
You might have asked her, "Do you mean that you think that something like the Islamic standard of dress should be accepted by all of society?" without all kinds of over the top sarcastic accoutrements to the question. In that case, it would have been a straightforward question with no assumptions about her motivations, intelligence, or character. As it was, you were belligerent and prejudicial in your tone and yeah, I think that's a really uncivil way to talk to a perfect stranger.
This post sparked an interesting discussion in my home last night. I have spent a good deal, although not an excessive amount, of time in thought over it.
My daughter was appalled that I thought the man behaved with any honor, and that the woman had any responsibility at all. This is where the discussion got started. This made me realize, that I don't tend to express myself fully, or that sometimes it takes more than one discussion to cover things.
Of course I believe that a man needs to control himself, taking every thought captive. Our Lord told us that if a man looks upon a woman with lust, he has committed adultery with her. He is responsible. How men deal with it in America, let alone other places in the world where public nudity is even more accepted, I really don't know, having known at least one man well enough to understand the struggle at some level. Do they grow callouses on their eyes?
For myself, I need to guard against being judgemental when I see women dressed immodestly, and men responding to them.
I also believe that for a woman to tempt a man to sin in this way is selfish and inconsiderate to say the least. When I say that I understand the intent of this sort of immodesty, I say that from experience.
I also know that, although she cannot be totally innocent of the effect of her appearance, girls also need instruction. This came into my awareness when I took my daughter shopping at the onset of her teens, and actually had to tell her what effect she would have on others, and where their eyes would be drawn if she wore this or that.
This situation may not have been optimally handled. Maybe the driver could have done it better, but if a bikini-clad hottie was playing basketball in our cul-de-sac, I hope my husband would close the curtains if he found his eyes on her more than just to notice.
The situation would better have been handled by an older woman, coming alongside this young woman, and gently telling her that she needs to save that for her husband, because it is more special than her knees.
