Sunday, March 21, 2010 AD
A Little Spring Cleaning
I was putting away several loads of laundry yesterday and decided to go through my odd sock stash. I ended up throwing away nine of them. It felt heartless. Why should these poor socks be discarded just because they had no mates? I only threw away the ones that were of sufficient vintage that I could be positive they really were unmatched. That didn't help. Oh, so it's only the old singles that are disposable...for which we should abandon all hope. I felt so cruel, so heartless, so devoid of compassion.
And then I remembered that they were just socks.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 6:30 PM
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Tuesday, March 16, 2010 AD
If You Link to CyberHymnal, Change Your Link
Evidently, cyberhymnal.org was hacked a little over a year ago, and someone stole all of their content. They've rebuilt the site at hymntime.com. The thieves don't deserve your patronage, so change your links and bookmarks.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 11:42 PM
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Friday, March 12, 2010 AD
Rules Were Made for the Writer, Not the Writer for the Rules
This quote is from a mathematician, but the sentiment is applicable to grammarians and editors:Pedantry and mastery are opposite attitudes toward rules. To apply a rule to the letter, rigidly, unquestioningly, in cases where it fits and in cases where it does not fit, is pedantry... To apply a rule with natural ease, with judgment, noticing the cases where it fits, and without ever letting the words of the rule obscure the purpose of the action or the opportunities of the situation, is mastery. -George Polya, professor of mathematics (1887-1985)
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:02 AM
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010 AD
And a Little Child Shall Lead Them
Some visitors to our church on Sunday had never drunk wine before. So when communion came, and they saw a tray with both cups of white stuff and cups of red stuff, they watched what the little children in front of them were taking and followed suit....
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 9:40 AM
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Why Fluorescent Lights Are Evil
On the drive in this morning, as my mind was coming up with a list of things to do, I jotted a few notes on my hand with the only color pen I had available -- yellow. Arriving at the office, I look at my hand under the fluorescent lights and can barely see that anything's there. Fluorescent light does terrible things to color. We hates it, we does.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 9:17 AM
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010 AD
Annie Winham
One of The Annes
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 11:43 AM
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Sunday, March 7, 2010 AD
Sisypha
Today's mythology lesson, boys and girls, is about the little-known character Sisypha (younger sister of the more popular Sisyphus), whom the gods punished by assigning her the task of perpetual dish washing. She was forced to wash dishes till she was sure she'd done them all...only to walk out of the kitchen and discover a bowl or a plate, a fork or a spoon, sitting forgotten in some other room. And there was always another one there each time she left the kitchen, no matter how carefully she'd checked the last time. Finally, after centuries had passed, everybody stopped believing in the Greek gods, and Sisypha, much to her relief, ceased to have existed.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 8:15 AM
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Ten Years Ago Yesterday
On March 6, 2000, I was writing a post for the now-defunct Renewing Your Mind discussion forum on "Why I am Not a Calvinist." I was gonna show 'em, I was, why this predestination bizniss was all a bunch of hooey. And by gum, I was even going to open my Bible to prove it! Well, you might imagine what happened next. It's dangerous to play with sharp objects. When I opened my Bible, my argument got its head lopped off.
I found myself in Exodus 33:Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."
And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." It struck me that God's predestining privilege was tied up in His own proclamation of His glory. I'd been convinced that the notion made God less glorious, but I couldn't explain this one away. "Oh, all right," was my attitude. "I'll swallow the TULIP bulb, but I'm not going to be happy about it!"
A couple weeks earlier, Mark Cary had started teaching through Ephesians on Sunday nights at CCF (Chapelgate's now-defunct singles ministry). I was miserable about it when he started, knowing that the first chapter was all about predestination.
I had signed up to do special music for one night early in that series, when he was still in the first chapter. My crankiness dissipated pretty quickly, because I wrote this song for the occasion. Here's a quick, one-take recording.
If I were writing it today, the tune would be much more upbeat, but at the time it reflected the quietness of a spirit that had finally stopped arguing with its Maker. The first time I posted the lyrics, Jamie Soles asked me if he could write a tune for it. I was a little too attached to it then to let him, but I'd probably say yes now.
Well, I'd better get moving and get ready to go worship the God whose once-despised sovereignty has become a delight to me!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 6:21 AM
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Tuesday, March 2, 2010 AD
Blog Par-tay at Femina!
The Femina girls (Nancy, Heather, Bekah and Rachel) are throwing a blog party. So far about 80 readers have posted links to their online homes (or just introduced themselves). Here are a few: - Crystal shares her seamstressing and etsying adventures at Arrayed and Adorned. She's got a couple recent posts on baptismal outfits that are particularly fun.
- Teri writes about her family (including her almost-five "paisley-eyed baby," her somewhat older pets, and a post on how to care for curly hair -- a mysterious topic for ol' spaghetti-headed me) at This Is Now.
- Linda's psychedelically cheerful blog, Searching for Sunshine, invites readers into the rooms of her home as she shares wisdom gleaned from 22 years of marriage and mothering.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 7:45 AM
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010 AD
Emergency Planning, Kyriosity Style
If you are planning to get your vehicle stuck in the snow, and then, when you've almost managed to get it out of the snow, to get it stuck quite inextricably in the mud, Kyriosity recommends that you take the following measures:
1. Have a AAA membership. 2. And a cell phone. 3a. Visit the ladies room last thing before you leave the office... 3b. ...or forget to drink water all day. 4. On the preceding day, decide you are tired with the radio station you've been listening to, and grab your iPod on the way out the door. 5. Have it loaded with a nice audio version of Pride and Prejudice. 6. Have your crocheting basket in the car.
You may imagine how smug I felt last Friday evening when I had followed my own sage counsel in these matters. The only point on which I do not reflect with complete satisfaction is that I chose option 3b, which is somewhat inferior to 3a. But, on the whole, I think I did remarkably well. AAA's initial 90-minute prediction turned into a wait nearer two and a half hours, but being so well provisioned, I hardly minded. The car was warm enough, and I was deliciously occupied with good listening and busy hands, and the time flew by with little cause for impatience. Ain't I a clever girl?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 7:57 PM
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010 AD
Don't Gimme No Lip!
Dear cake stand manufacturers,
Putting a lip on a cake stand makes it difficult to cut and serve the cake. Knock it off.
Regards,
~Valerie
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 8:50 PM
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Friday, January 8, 2010 AD
Who Would Do Such a Thing?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 9:22 PM
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Sunday, January 3, 2010 AD
New Year's Resolutions
Besides using the prayer guide (mentioned below), I have two other resolutions this year:- No complaining in my Facebook status. All status updates must express gratitude, blessedness, joy, and the like. This little discipline addresses two birds with one stone: ingratitude and unedifying speech.
- Curtail my use of exclamation points and emoticons. Again, an attempt at monolithic biavicide: bad writing and undisciplined emotionalism.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:23 PM
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Friday, January 1, 2010 AD
Help Me Arrange My Wall
Which arrangement do you like best? Or do you hate them all and think I should either start from scratch or not try to cram so many pieces into such a small space?
(Click for larger image.)
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 11:23 PM
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Bedspread in Situ
Here's the completed bedspread on mom's bed. (Click on photo to view larger.) I also made the afghan at the foot of the bed about 20 years ago (well...started it 20 years ago and finished it probably 10 years ago).
 I was a little disappointed in the size. I went by the pattern, but I should have actually measured a bedspread and adjusted for reality. I'd have liked it to be one row of squares wider and one row longer. But no, I won't be going back to fix it!
At Thanksgiving Mom asked my cousin's husband, Herb, who has been a volunteer firefighter for decades, if he would tell her how to use a fire extinguisher if the need arose. Herb replied, "Here's how: First, grab the fire extinguisher...and then get the hell out of the house, because this place would go up like a tinderbox." (It's an all-wood farmhouse dating to the 18th century.) I insisted that she had to grab the bedspread, too, and we all agreed that she should also grab all the money she has stuffed under the mattress.* The bedspread would, of course, be a convenient way to carry it.
*Note to would-be thieves: My mother is poor as a church mouse, and hasn't really got a cent stashed under the mattress or anyplace else.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:06 AM
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Prayer Guide
This time last year I was intending to settling into the habit of using a personal prayer guide I'd constructed out of selections from Scripture, the Book of Common Prayer, other sources, and my own head. I wrote about it here. The basic format is a selection of prayers for each day based on the acronym ARTIST:- Adoration (praising God for who He is)
- Repentance (confessing my sin and receiving His forgiveness)
- Thanksgiving (acknowledging what God has done)
- Intercession (requests for others)
- Supplication (requests for myself)
- Trust (confidently committing my prayers to God)
Some sections are different each day, and others I've repeated. It just didn't work out for me to use the guide in 2009 because my mental approach to it made it too cumbersome, but I think I can turn down the cerebral noise enough to give it another whack in 2010.
In case the resource might be of use to anyone else, I've created a version that you can download and personalize for your own use. My copy's prettier, but you probably don't have my font selection, so you'll have to settle for Times New Roman. Or switch to another font of your liking if you're pretty confident with formatting in Word (there's tricky stuff like column breaks and character spacing tweakage you'll need to look out for). I left a blank bulleted list in the Intercession section of each day for you to fill in the names of family members, friends, church members, missionaries, ministries, etc. And you'll probably want to adjust the Supplication section to your own needs, as it's is pretty personalized to mine. I just wanted to give mine as an example.
Feedback would be welcome from anyone who uses or just peruses the prayer guide. I'm sure it's not perfect, and I'm sure I'll continue to work on improving it.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 1:35 AM
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Saturday, December 19, 2009 AD
Heroes
I watched the first couple episodes of "Heroes" tonight. I suppose it's a common wish of people to have some special power that could somehow save the world. Well, in Christ, we do. In Christ we have the power to resist sin. Every sin is like that pebble in the water, sending out a ripple effect of destructiveness. The effect may be invisible, something we're never even aware of. Or it may be dramatically clear, like the results of Achan's sin. Every resistance of sin averts disaster and strikes a blow for peace, justice, and the kingdom's way. Be a hero: obey God.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:45 PM
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Saturday, November 14, 2009 AD
Why I Can't Bring Myself to Charge My Friends for Editing
I have been blessed with the privilege and pleasure of editing a friend's doctoral project. As I just noted in a sidebar comment, "This is the price of my editing -- you have to put up with my occasional editorializing!" A few paragraphs later, I corrected a usage issue and gave the following explanation for the change:Rule of thumb: Whenever you use the word "comprise," make sure the word "envelop" would fit in the same context (even though it wouldn't be the right word). You would never say that something "is enveloped of" several other things. Just so, you shouldn't say something "is comprised of" several other things. "Comprised" is not a synonym for "composed." That said, you can probably find any number of modern usage references that allow such a construction, but they are all descriptivist, postmodern tools of the devil, so just trust me, instead. ;-) How stinkin' much fun can one editrix possibly have, I ask you?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 9:12 PM
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Sunday, November 8, 2009 AD
Three-Armed Pete
 Many, many moons ago, my mother and Miss Gloria got matching paint-by-number Last Supper kits and completed them together. The paintings hung in their dining rooms for decades. Somewhere along the way, I noticed that the numberer of this particular kit had made a mistake. St. Peter is fourth from the left, the one with the long knife (remember his missing Jesus' point about swords and lopping off the servant's ear). I don't know which Apostle is third from the left, but I know that one of his sleeves is blue -- the same color as Peter's robe -- when it ought to be dark green to match his own robe. I decided that it made Peter look as if he had three arms. Miss Gloria's copy had the same mistake, and here it is preserved at the Paint by Numbers Museum in someone else's execution of the kit. We finally put the painting in a yard sale. I hope someone else is now enjoying the kitsch and Three-Armed Pete!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 6:28 AM
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Sunday, November 1, 2009 AD
What a Day!
I'm enjoying the last few sips of another glorious Sabbath. Not that I couldn't be guzzling, my cup has been overflowing like a fire hydrant all day, but I am sated with blessings.
First, that wonderful extra hour at the end of DST. Could we arrange to get an extra hour every Sunday morning? You can be sure I did not squander that time on frivolities. A significant portion of it was spent giving my eyebrows a long-overdue plucking.
Second, five new households -- a total of 19 individuals -- joined our congregation this morning. Pastor Knecht always chooses a verse with which to bless each one, so we got 19 verses and 19 prayers. I was blubbering.
Third, one of those households had six kids that all got baptized. I was blubbering.
Fourth, we had a wonderful (if somewhat curtailed...I think he was worried about how much time receiving the new members had taken) sermon on being welcoming people. I've been preparing to lead a study on chapter 2 of Steve Wilkins' Face to Face, "Characteristics of a True Friend," and the message this morning was a wonderful supplement to my thinking on the topic.
Fifth, we've recently started singing during communion, but no way was I going to glue my eyes to a hymnal page. I was craning my neck to watch those newly baptized kids get the supper for the first time. I was blubbering. (Do we sense a theme here?)
Sixth, although the Reformation Day party rain date was also rained out, the Ts still had a few folks over -- a family that had come from out of state, a couple families from other churches who hadn't gotten the cancellation message, and some chick who thinks she lives there on Sundays. ;-) Food was abundant and delicious, and fellowship was delightful. Of course the weather cleared up enough to be outside, but there was no way of knowing that would happen, so they made the best call they could. Ken lit the bonfire...and there was a rather dramatic explosion. Boys just never grow out of that pyromaniac stage, do they? I got my singing-around-the-campfire fix -- always one of my favorite things to do, and always extra fun when the "Von Lort Family Singers" are present.
Seventh, I LOVE the new baby afghan I started. I think just about everything I've made since I started crocheting again has been a solid color (or variegated thread, but that sorta counts as a solid since it's all one thread). This one is striped, and I had to keep stopping my work to just look at it and enjoy the emerging pattern.
Well, since seven is the number of completion, I'll stop there. Thank You, kind heavenly Father, for the bountiful and good gifts you pour out on your children!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:32 PM
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